Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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