If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there is glitter all over my balls
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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