Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We are two peas in an std pod
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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