I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
