well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
