the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need a beard to bite.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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