I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you never un-have a 4some
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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