Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
