im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
