great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
