I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
