I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
