I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
