high people should be assigned attendants
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
