I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
