If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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