smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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