he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
