this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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