ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
