Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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