uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
