Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
