I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
