We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
