i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
