he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
