We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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