im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
