cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
