Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
