I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
