new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
