is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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