you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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