I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
