you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
