More tranny stories later!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
