I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
