U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
