Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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