i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
