I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
