my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
