you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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