I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
