...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
