on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
