True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
