Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
