Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
