I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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