STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
