I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
