a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
