He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
